I am without internet and am going crazy. This is the week before finals and now i have to drive on campus to use the computer.. This truely sucks.

I really don't understand the FAFSA

So I didn't qualify for any aid last year because I "made too much" and I get that, but this year I barely made 12k. this is under the amount needed to qualify for grants, but when I filled out my FAFSA, this year it says I am also not qualified for aid this year. I will get loans again.... This really blows. I thought these grants were for students who don't make enough money. I have sent in about 4 or 5 scholarship applications, but don't really expect to win any. I am still trying to clean up my transcrips from my last attempt at school, so my GPA is a 2.5 or so. Most scholarships want at least a 3.0 GPA. I think once I am outta school, I'm gonna start my own scholarship. It will most likely only be for about $500, but everything helps when your in school. This I know first hand. I have to be so strict with my money right now. That I can't even get things that I truly need. I really need a new computer because mine keeps acting up. I want a MAC, but they are quite pricy. I am thinking about applying for their credit to get one, but don't know if they will approve me. I haven't used credit in over 4 years. I dred doing it again. As a student, you do get a student discount, but thats still expensive. The great thing about being an older student, is I do qualify for a non traditional grant at my school and the first semester it was $800 and this semester it was $1000.
I am still trying to find a job and may apply for a program at the college that helps a summer high school program. I really need some income soon because starting next month or maybe even 2 weeks I'm going to have to start paying for internet. That will be another $50 a month. grr!
On Monday I had a test in my world civ class and hoped to get it back today, but they are still not graded. I skipped communication again because i still can not figure out what I want to speak about. I really hate "persuasive" speeches. I never know what to talk about or even what topic to chose. I really don't care what these people think and don't care if they agree with me or not.
Oh well, I guess I need to start working on this right now so I can speak on Friday...

World Civ test and still jobless

So I had a World Civ test today and thought I was doing well until the last few pages. I hope for a B but I'm thinking it might be a C. This Prof is much harder than any I have had so far. I really do like her class, and think her lectures are very interesting. However, I think she goes a little overboard with the grading of these literary critiques we have to write. I got a C on the last one, but a D on the one before. She didn't like that I used the word strategies in place of tactics..... I always thought these 2 words were synonyms. It would seem not in her world.
This class started full and now is down to about 15 students. I don't think most of the students were ready for her teaching style. She makes it very clear that she is not going to hold your hand throughout the class. for example when a student asked for the class average, the Prof responded that you are not competing against each other.
On the plus side, this class is where I get the most entertaining "I can't believe you're in college" moments. I know they say there are no stupid questions, but I really beg to differ..... One gal kept asking questions that I realized were based on the movie 300. She didn't actually say the title until the 3rd class she referenced it, but I had already figured out she watches too many movies.
I wish I had started my blog at the beginning of the semester, because it would have been more entertaining....

I am still procrastination on my speech.... I have a day left at this point to get my speech together...

On a totally unrelated issue, I am frustrated that I can't get a callback for a job interview. Student loans only go so far and I am starting to worry about my bank account. I have rent and hopefully electric bill money, but other expenses are starting to worry me.
The average time someone spends in a retail job before moving on to another company is about 6 months. You would think being that I have about 2 years left for schooling and my track record shows my last 2 jobs as 5 and 8 years, that I would at least get a phone call asking me some questions. That isn't even an interview. I put in an application for BBW for an associate. This is a company i interviewed with 2 DM's and was going to be a manager for the company before I made my decision to go back to school. How sad a company would hire me for management, but a manager won't hire me as an associate...
I feel that I am being passed for interviews because of my resume. When you have managed retail for over 12 years and used to be the person in charge, it seems to make people pass on even calling you when you say you just want to be a cashier. I don't want to be in charge, really. I just want to ring up people and stock the shelves. I have started dumbing down my applications and the next step is to add a cover letter spelling out that i am presently a college student, working towards my degree and have absolutely no desire to be king of their mountain....... Maybe I should word it better. :) Tomorrow I turn in an updated application to Olive Garden now that I have a new, local phone number.

Easter Sunday or zombie jesus day, if you will...

So today is Easter, and I have a test tomorrow and a speech to give. I am being quite lazy and not studying. I am also not ready for my speech, I don't even know what I am going to talk about. It is supposed to be an persuasive speech, which is the same as argumentative. I know what I wanted to talk about, but the fact that the Jewish, Muslim and christian faith all pray to the same god and most people have no idea the origins of their own religions, would not go over well in this city. I need to stop procrastinating and study.......

How it started... (this is an essay I sent in with a scholarship)

So you find yourself driving on I-40 in the middle of night, while one of your 3 cats is meowing for attention because she is not used to over 8 hours in a car, even with a litter box. You are wondering if you are still in Texas or are you now in Oklahoma? (You know your not in New Mexico anymore because the roads are not all under construction). This was me in March of 2009. I had quit my 60+ hours a week job in San Jose, to move back to Arkansas to finish what I started almost 15 years ago. College.
So how did I get to that night in March? Let me tell you.
The hardest question I have to answer when I meet new people is; “Where are you from?” For most people, this is simple, but for me? Well, I went to at least 8 different schools growing up. Living in 3 different states and 3 different Countries. My Dad was in the Air Force, and I was a military brat.
I was born with a congenital heart defect in 1973 at Sheppard’s AFB in Texas. Within an hour of birth I was on a medivac flight headed towards Fort Sam Houston with my dad while my mom stayed behind in the hospital. In my first week of life, I had a balloon inserted into my heart, followed by major heart surgery to correct my transpositions of the vessels. A little over a year later I received a pacemaker, the first of many, and started my life as a normal child. My outlook was unknown and my parents were told I would probably not live past 12 or 13. One of the Doctors gave my parents the advise that has carried me to today. He told my parents they had to make a choice. They could raise me like a normal kid, no different from my sister, and that is what I would be, or they could raise me like a invalid, and that’s what I would be. Thankfully, they chose normal. I have never thought of myself as different, sometimes to the point of upsetting both my doctors and my parents. Every once in a while my “disability” would rear its ugly head. For example, I could not play contact sports growing up and since I also saw a cardiologist every 6 months, when my Father got orders for Okinawa, Japan, at first I was told I could not go. When I was younger we lived in Germany so I could not understand why I was not being allowed to go this time, so I did the best thing I could think of at the time and wrote a letter to Mrs. Barbara Bush. My Father gave copies to his command. Mrs. Bush never wrote me back, but suddenly I was cleared for Okinawa. The only glitch? I had to fly to the Philippines (that is until I was there when they launched a coup against the government and my 3 day stay turned into a week), and then, later, Hawaii. This happened every 6 months for a doctors check up. Somehow I found the courage to endure this. I am not sure my sister has forgiven me for this.
I developed my love for history when we lived in Germany. I was able to see places that had been around for thousands of years and it was amazing. I always excelled in my social studies and history classes in school, so after going to 2 different colleges overseas, I started at Arkansas State. My first semester was great. I did fantastic in my classes and was excited for more. The following semesters were not as good as the first, due to my switch in focus from school to my job. My unfortunate switch in priorities managed to get me academically suspended from school. Something I have regretted every since. About this time is when I found out my mother had breast cancer and needed someone to help her out since my father was working over 100 miles away. Since I was not in school. I moved back to California to help her out. I figured I could go back to school there. My mom recovered, but my education did not. I tried to go back to school, but “life” got in the way. California was so expensive to live in that I worked as a retail Manager. School and retail management do not mix. I kept missing classes and having to drop classes due to work schedules or other employees calling out. I did this for almost 15 years and was very good at it. But in the last few years hated it. My boss was one of those horrible bosses that you see on TV sitcoms who had a way of burning managers out, myself included. So in January 2009 I decided I was done. If I stayed in that circle, I would never go back to school and become the teacher I have wanted to be for years. So I quit my job, cashed out my $5000 401k, loaded up my car, and drove east. Honestly not even knowing if ASU would grant me admissions. Luckily they did and I am now back on the path I strayed from almost 20 years ago. I am going to do whatever it takes this time to accomplish my goal. This decision I made to quit my job, this one moment in time is one I am quite proud of. It was a very scary thought to not have a job or know what I was going to find when I moved back to Arkansas. Once I made the decision, though, the hardest thing was to tell my family and friends I was moving.
After graduation, if my medical condition allows, (there has to be a cardiologist nearby) I plan to give back to all the brave soldiers who defend our way of life, by helping to return to their children what was once given to me, the best education by working in a Department of Defense Dependent School. If I am unable to do this, I will find a school stateside to teach at.
For a lot of people history is boring and even some of my friends tell me all the time how much they hate history. However, when I start talking to them about history they usually respond with “I never knew that”. History is far from boring, unfortunately many history teachers are. I want to use my background, where I grew up, be able to tell my students stories about how I touched the Berlin wall, or how much I hated Trier because we visited it in Germany every year, but that I would give almost anything now to visit it again.
Going back to school at 36 has been harder than I thought it would be. So much is computerized and I have to learn how to use the system just to schedule classes. I’m doing great though. My classes are going well and I am staying focused on my goal. My major is Education, with an emphasis on History and would like to minor in African American studies. In 2 years I should be on my way to opening my students eyes to the great cultures of the world and how they all contributed in making the world the place it is today.